Just when you thought you had heard it all.. Part 2 of the best sounding medical terms/jargon comes your way. Well I never! Julie supplied a few of these, a muse she is.

• Ependymoma

Sounds like: Something you should be saying in a southern country accent (Well that’s just an ependyyyyyyymoma of a problem there chuck, ain’t it). Is actually: A tumour of sorts.

• Methotrexate

Sounds like: A transformer. Is actually: A drug

• Gonadoblastoma

Sounds like: An ‘interesting’ superhero power. Is actually: Not.

• Ophthalmology

Sounds like: What you say when jaws stuck together with toffee (And I’d know) Is actually: Eye stuff (My professional description of course)

• Saddleback fever

Sounds like: The sequel to brokeback mountain. Is actually: A pattern of fever, seen with such illnesses as Dengue fever.

• Chikungunya

Sounds like: A takeaway meal! Probably from a dodgy restaurant.  Is actually: A tropical fever (See why I love tropical medicine, it has the BEST names)

• Agammaglobulinemia

Sounds like: A goopy material. Also, a tongue twister. Seriously. Say it 3 times quick. Is actually: A genetic disorder where people can’t fight off infections

• Coccidioidomycosis

Sounds like: Mary Poppins’ next musical venture. Is actually: Mary Poppins’ next musical adventure for at risk groups.

• Amphotericin

Sounds like: A kind of reptile, possibly extinct.  Is actually: An anti-fungal agent.

• Leishmaniasis

Sounds like: Something the evil wizard in a Disney movie yells before swirls of black purple smoke descend upon his tower and lightning strikes.   Is actually: A tropical parasite. Loverly.

• PLAP

Sounds like: Something you should shout and get yelled at by parents.   Is actually: Abbreviation for Placental like alkaline phosphatase (quite the term in itself!)

• Alpha Thalassaemia

Sounds like: The first and second names of a child whose parents let me name them. Is actually: A genetic disorder of the blood.

• Gleevac

Sounds like: A mood elevating cleaning appliance.   Is actually: A drug for treating some forms of cancer

• Hydroxychloroquine

Sounds like: A cleaning product from 50s America… Or a foodstuff from 50s America.   Is actually: An antimalarial drug

Next: Words chosen by Julie.

• Rugger Jersey Spine

Sounds like: It’s just such a great descriptor.   Is actually: A description of a spine where it actually looks stripey on XRay, seen in osteosclerosis (possibly caused by the blasted kidneys and their evil reign of bodily terror)

• Zygomatic

The forgotten lyrics in Greased Lightening, ‘iiiits zayyyyygomatic’.   Is actually: Your cheekbone. Zygomatic bone, arch.

• Leiomyoma

Sounds like: An exclamation before one begins to salsa (Llly-oh-my-OH-ma! eeeeeeeee). Is actually: A tumour of smooth muscle.

• Apple Green Birefringence

Sounds like:…Maybe Snow white’s nickname. If she had sea green silk dresses on. Post ‘primary-colour-pre-marriage’ shenanigans perhaps. Is actually: What you get when you look at amyloid under polarized light with a congo red stain (boo ya. Will never forget that, seriously)

• Toxic megacolon

Sounds like: A villain in some superhero film. Like – I! AM! Toxiiiic MEGACOLON! *evil laugh* Is actually: Er… A toxic megacolon.

• Ecchymosis

Sounds like: A german insult. Eck-ee- MOSE-is!   Is actually: A kind of rash. Subcutaneous Purpura if you will.